Do you ever reach that point where you hate life so much you actually like living it? Today I have actually got to that stage, I was angry on wednesday, teary and crying like a bitch all last night...today I'm just jaded to a point where I can deal with whatever shit is thrown at me, but not out of strength, more out of the fact I love torturing my own mind.
I decided to write 2 separate blogs from now on, because I do enjoy pissing people off on the other one. This one is where my true thoughts will be.
I did something I am truly ashamed of this week....I downloaded a copy of Mariah Careys new album....Ok before you judge me, imagine been so loopy one day that you wonder if the bitch has actually brought out a decent album...well I took it as a long shot that maybe just maybe she had. At the point I started listening to it, been deaf seemed such a nice thought for 5 seconds. I listened to 10 seconds of each track and realised I lost 2 mins of my life...ones I shall never ever get back...CURSE YOU CAREY!!!! I am such a huge fan of music, that I do listen to alsorts, including opera...but my passion is for rock and metal. I adore N*E*R*D, liked them before everyone cottoned onto Pharrell...I just like how fucked up they make their sounds.
My mum upset me last night....jesus I normally take it on the chin, but these new meds I am on, have made me the biggest wuss since Gwynnie cried at the oscars. I realised she didn't mean it, and it's all good now...which to my relief I stopped crying after 4 hours...who needs weepy films when you have meds.
My weekend is not filled up with stuff to do, because I am skint, broke, cashless...any other word applicable for been broke ass mofo.
Every once in a while you get some arsehole trying to better you, I am armed today, and I shall be armed by monday with enough shit and words, to take down this stupid cunt of a teacher after he bullies my baby!!!
Oh and i like the word cunt, it's one of my favs of all time, due to the shock value it has.
Talking of cunts, I had an extensive chat about GOD last night with First *hugs*, we ended up pissing ourselves laughing because of my personal views, on all religions and what bollocks they are. First what did we piss ourselves laughing about? I was half asleep at the time and forgot what I had said. I just remember having damp kecks and falling into bed chuckling.
On a much lighter note, I still feel floaty most of the day, so thats ace, I sometimes do stab myself with a fork just make sure I am indeed alive.
Berry fact, I am an athiest, but I am officially in the religion of the Jedi...seeing on the last census enough of us added it to make it an official religion...I just wish the job centre would stop making me redo forms because they don't recognise my choosen religion...wankers.
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